"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 I haven't been very good about updating the blog. I find myself trying to avoid it actually. This blog is like therapy for me in some sense, and since I'm always honest here, I think just having to face what bothers me sometimes is hard. But, with us living in Idaho and most of my family and friends being in Arizona, I think it's even more important for me to keep this blog current. Gracie's treatment plan is constantly evolving, and she's growing so much....I don't want to take away from that by only posting every few months....so....hopefully I can be a little more consistent with it.  

So far this year has really been very busy for our family. In February we purchased and moved into a home here in Nampa, Idaho. Yay!!!!!!! We were so excited to be back in our own place, have more room and really unpack. (Well, to be honest I still have some unpacking to do...but not much). We went back to AZ in March for spring break and my moms birthday.  That was Robert's first trip back and it made us all very homesick, but we had such a good time visiting family, friends, and our church. Shockingly enough my birthday came around again in April. I still can't believe I'm just a few years from 40. People ask me how old I am and I have to ask Robert because when I say 36 it just doesn't seem right. :). Landry is doing great at school and we are so so blessed that he is in a local Christian school here.  He is developing such a deeper understanding and relationship with Jesus it just fills my heart. He has become quite the little prayer warrior too.  He has been laying hands on people and praying for them.  I know we are just the lucky ones God gave him to, but I love him so much and am so proud of him. 

Gracie is doing pretty good. She is growing like crazy and has such the personality. Sometimes I look at her and think she is just as feisty as my grandma was, and then I think I was such a snot with my attitude when I was little that I'm really in for it! :)  Twice a month she has physical therapy and it has really been huge for her.  Her confidence has just soared in what she feels she can do, and her abilities are increasing. She still really struggles with balance, but it is amazing to see her progress in areas that are challenging for her. She is jumping, getting better at going up and down steps, running and trying to climb everything.  We have a long way to go, but I have no doubts she will get there.  We are visiting Shriners of Spokane in May to see if we can get her covered with assistive devices under them. This would help us get her much needed braces, lifts and inserts. Her foot is turning in, and almost dragging because of the missing tendon, so this brace, and this years surgeries are important. 

Gracie was supposed to have her 8 plate removed from her femur, and a tendon transfer done this week. Unfortunately we had to postpone the surgery due to lack of funds. We also received the unexpected news that there may need to be another plate placed in her tibia, (based on latest X-rays), but the final decision on that will be made in the OR when she has her surgery. This news means that instead of 1 surgery and 3 visits to Baltimore this year we may end up having 2-3 surgeries and 4-5 trips to see her surgeon. It's been hard for me. The unexpected surgeries always hit me hard. I'm starting to recognize a "pre-surgery" cycle, but I've been struggling lately. We just really thought this year was going to be one surgery and then a couple years off, and I'm realizing that every time we work to fix one part of her leg or foot, it highlights problems or deficiencies in other parts. It's just such a complex condition and I really don't think there is ever a break. There is time between surgeries, but there will, for most of her life, be a need that will be met via surgery. Even the older kids and adults in our FH world have "maintenance" surgeries. It's had me wrestling with the idea that maybe we should have chosen to amputate her leg. I still firmly believe we made the right choice, but it is so hard to go thru this every few months, to put HER thru this every few months and not question yourself sometimes.  It is so hard on everyone.  We are financially maxed out. We don't qualify for any aid in any form, and the hospital changed their financial aid acceptance and we no longer qualify for that.  I'm trying to be the "squeaky wheel" and keep pushing but when we are in surgery mode, it's a constant battle and it is so overwhelming and exhausting.  There's no doubt Gracie is worth it, but as her parents, the toll this takes on Robert and I, is hard. I am so blessed  to have the husband I have....I couldn't imagine going thru this without him. 

I've heard that it should eventually get easier to hand Gracie over, to keep doing surgeries. I think that's not really an accurate way to describe it. The process, the preparations, and the mental understanding of what is happening may get easier. I think post-surgery might even get easier, because in all honesty, the craziness of taking care of Gracie in the hospital, during recovery, handling her meds, her therapy, and wound care...that's almost a welcome distraction. I'm too busy to worry or feel anything but what needs to be done.  It's almost a break for my mind. But the pre-surgery experience still causes high anxiety for me. Handing her over to a surgeon I have complete trust in, over and over and over, and realizing it's not gonna end.....that does not get easier.  It actually rips my heart out to know, no matter how good the outcome may be, that we are causing her pain.  That we are putting her at risk with each surgery, and that I can't take the place for my baby girl. Hearing about kids who have pain, chronic issues, or choose to later amputate is so hard. This has really been an impossible decision for us. There is no right or wrong. No parent could easily chose to amputate or lengthen. They are both miserable choices. It's hard. 

I know Gracie is not defined by her surgeries or condition. At least not yet. She is thriving and is a very, very happy girl. That gives me a lot of peace. Her surgeons abilities gives me a lot of peace. The support from my own private world of FH friends gives me peace. My family gives me peace. Friends who barely know Gracie offering to fundraise or lift us in prayer gives me peace.  Knowing that God can bring good from ALL things, gives me peace. Some days, none of that is enough. Some days, the thought of what we are facing, the mountain of medical bills, the insurance world, the pain, the fear...it takes over and nothing helps. 

We recently heard a service from a pastor out here about not worshiping our circumstances, but worshiping God. Keeping focused on him with continuous praise and worship in the midst of your pain....that victory is there, just beyond that. Far too often I worship Fibular Hemimelia and what it has done to my baby girl, our family and myself. I may not ever understand all this, but I do believe that if I can keep my trust in God, acknowledge the many blessings He's given us thru this, He will show me how to over come this, how to afford this, and show all of us how to survive this. He will direct our paths. I'm so grateful for that because when I'm in the midst of these storms....I can't see the path on my own. 

Please remember, if you are going thru your own storms....trust in Him....He will guide you, He will direct your path. He sees all, and knows better then we do all the whys and what ifs....and He loves you. So much deeper then any love you can imagine.  Easier said then done, trust me, I know. But so worth the fight over your mind to get to the places of peace He has waiting for us. 

Prayer requests:

-that we can get the funds for her surgery and get it scheduled soon

-that Shriners hospital can help us with braces, lifts and shoe inserts

-that Gracie continues to progress

-that we have peace about all this 

Here are some pictures of Gracie, and a video of her at the park the other day, (if I can get it to load). It shows the benefits of therapy and parents who keep encouraging her to try....to get back up when you fall, and try again. Hope you enjoy it!!!  *****check out our Fundraisers tab to see the latest fundraising information!!!*****

Gracie praying

Video of Gracie at park

Cute in pig tails

PT. Just balancing to take this step without holding on to anything is amazing progress!

My handsome boy!

Praying for Gracie's fat lip

Loves to climb! 

Amen!!

"But The Lord Stood With Me and Gave Me Strength." (2 Timothy 4:17)

2013, A Year in Review

January: our most "normal" month of the year.  Landry started at ASU Prep and we loved it!

February: We took a family trip to Disneyland, my grandma passed away, and I lost my job.

March: Gracie started her surgical journey to 2, even, functioning legs.

April: Gracie had an unexpected surgery to replace a pin and clean out an infection in her external fixator. My dad was shot in the face accidentally on a hunting trip....and survived!!!!!!

May: May was recovering and rehabbing for Gracie, from her 90+ days of solid infections and my dad from his accident.

June: Gracie had surgery to have her fixator removed and cast put on.

July: Gracie had her cast removed and was enjoying her free leg!  She also had a hole in her heart closed. Our family announced we were selling our house and moving go Boise, Idaho.

August: Robert got hired as Caldwell High Schools varsity basketball coach!!!  The biggest move of our lives.....or mine anyway....I left my hometown and we headed to Boise for a new adventure.

September: Just a hard month of transition.

October: Gracie had another surgery to have an 8-plate put in her knee.

November: We lost out on 2 house offers and walked away from a 3rd after the inspection.  Landry and I got the chance to surprise family and friends by showing up for Thanksgiving. We finally found a home church out here in Idaho.

December: Our Christmas trip to AZ got canceled because of 2 months worth of  sickness.

This year was hard and challenging.  It was filled with more trials and struggles then I can even count or want to remember.  The verse for this post is absolutely perfect though.  We have survived this year. God stood with us. He gave us the strength we needed to not only survive but grow.  He was faithful. Even when I felt alone, or when I was holding Gracie again because she was in so much pain, or had to leave my son for her surgeries, or when we left everything I've ever known and moved to Idaho, or when my little man struggled to transition here, when I was scared, exhausted, overwhelmed....He was there.  He never left me and I know that, because I would not have survived this year if He had.  He also blessed us this year.  I have been able to stay home with my babies, help Gracie heal and recover after her 5 surgeries, take my little man to school and play dates, and be a house wife.  This is such a miracle. He answered a prayer and dream of my husbands to be a head boys basketball coach and and run his own program, He surrounded us with friends, new and old to help us thru this year. We were never alone. I am so thankful and grateful for that.

No matter what this year brings we are never alone, and God will give us strength.  I and hoping and praying for a year free from life changing crisis, less surgeries for Gracie, less drama, and less change....and instead a year of blessings, and boring normalcy. Lol.

To everyone who made a difference in our lives this year, who sent good thoughts prayed, donated, loved and encouraged us....you will forever be in our hearts and prayers.  Thank you....you made a real difference our year!!!!!

(Gracie is doing amazingly well. She is running and playing and has just inspired us all so much.  She has at least 1 surgery that we know of in 2014 to transfer a tendon...we will post more on that as it gets closer.  Enjoy our year in review in photos)!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!  2014 be good to us!

http://Youtu.be/1chsLP1p5ao


2013 In Review, "You're an Overcomer!"

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?..." (Isaiah43:19)

Well we have been getting settled in our new home.  The landlords of the place we're renting are awesome, our neighbors are awesome, and basically we've started settling in.  Landry and I have probably had the hardest time adjusting. Robert has had some struggles as well...Gracie is a champ.  She's too young to really take it any other way, and has just been keeping us on our toes!  We have started the house hunt again, and hopefully soon will be in our own home!

Landry is going to a Christian school that we love.  Last week they had a grandparent's day program and the pre-k classes sang about 7 songs.  Its amazing to see how much he is growing and learning.  He came home the other day and told us that Jesus was the rock of his salvation.  We couldn't be more proud.  

Robert started coaching junior high football when we moved.  Last year I think the team only had like 2 touchdowns and didn't win a game.  This year they won at least 3 games.  It was fun, a LOT less stressful then basketball season!  Basketball off-season open gyms have started, and try-outs will be here before we know it.  Crazy time is upon us!!!!

We are getting ready to head back to Baltimore this week.  Gracie has her surgery for her 8 plate to be placed in her knee on Friday.  Hopefully Saturday she is feeling up to us going to the Save-A-Limb Run and hang out with other families who are on the same journey as us.  We have taken a leap of faith (one of many this year...lol), and purchased a ticket to bring Landry with us.  He really has struggled with transitioning to our new home and we just didn't feel comfortable leaving him behind again.  It's so hard to do these trips, and know what we are bringing our daughter to endure, but its hard to leave him behind too.  So...we are praying and waiting on God to provide.  Just where He  likes us this year.  

This surgery will be Gracie's 5th surgery in 7 months.  When I think about that, it just blows my mind.  She is such a fighter, such a happy baby, and these surgeries haven't slowed her down one bit.  She is running around and loves chasing her brother.  Watching her and Landry chase after each other at night before bed makes me so happy.  It's strange that its also breaking my heart because I know she will be down for a bit after this surgery.  I was originally told only 2 days until she walked again, but a family in our group who just went thru this had about 8 days of non-weight bearing.  I just hate that we have to do this.  I've really been struggling lately with how much pain Gracie is having to endure.  One thing I've been realizing is that there is no guarantee as to how Gracie and her body will respond to each surgery, each step towards two even/functional legs.  There are stories of children who are doing great, adults who are doing great, young adults who are struggling, procedures that don't go as planned, and chronic pain.  I have had to do a ton of praying that Gracie's journey is as pain-free as possible, that her recoveries are as smooth as possible....and that we got the "complications" out of the way with the first external fixator fiasco.  Its not easy being parents who have to make such hard choices for our baby...but its not easy being Gracie, and if she can do this with such grace and joy....we can stay strong and give her the best chances and environment possible.

Please be praying for us to have safe travels, for Gracie's surgeon Dr. Standard, that there would be NO surprises during the surgery, that God would bring his much much needed provisions, that God would guide us to the house that's set aside for us, and to a church we can call home here.  Even in the struggles of this year, I can see there are new things God is doing in our life.  I can't wait for the moment that the blessings that come from obedience start pouring in...and am working so hard to recognize them, even in the struggle.  They are still there, and keeping my heart focused on how blessed we are keeps me from drowning in our year.  Please let me know if I can pray for you...you have carried us in prayer, and we want to do the same for you!

"But I am trusting in you, O Lord, saying, "You are my God!"" (Psalm 31:14)

We have officially made it to Boise!  We got here August 12th and are unpacked and "settled," so to speak.  There are things that are very different from Arizona, and drive me crazy, and things I am loving.  The weather is warm,  but its cool in the mornings and evenings and that is so so nice.  

The transition has been hard, but we are hanging in there.  Landry is doing a little better now that school has started and has already started making new friends. He is attending the same Christian elementary school his daddy graduated high school from.  He  has to learn a bible verse every couple weeks, and starts his day off with prayer in school....I LOVE it!

Robert is doing good.  Basketball hasn't started yet but he's coaching junior high football and enjoying that.  They had their first win last night, after only scoring 2 touchdowns all last season!  His new school is a lot different then Perry, so he's got his own transitions to adjust to, but its going well. 

I am missing home like crazy.  I have some good days and some hard days, but I assume that's part of the process.  We still haven't found a new church to attend.  That's been very hard, but we are determined to find the one we are supposed to be planted in.  

Gracie is doing great.  She's getting some flexibility back in her foot and is running!!!  We have her knee surgery coming up in October where they will place a plate in it to help her leg grow in the correct direction. She has what they call a "valgus knee."  It's common in children with FH, and should be a minor surgery compared to the others.  The great part of this trip is that it is scheduled at the same time as the annual Save-A-Limb Ride/Walk/Run. A lot of FH families travel for this event and there is a huge picnic with fun things for the kids to do.  We weren't able to go last year, but are so excited to be there already for surgery and go this year!  We are hoping to be able to bring Landry this time, as we think it will be great for him to see other families like ours, and not be "left behind" this time.  He's been having a hard time adjusting to our new home and I think it would be special for him to be a part of this and not left at home.    

I will be holding a virtual fundraiser for this trip, as  Gracie's last trip to Baltimore depleted our medical fund for her surgeries. I have realized that moving has placed an added burden as far as fundraising goes because our amazing community of supporters is back home. Hence, the virtual fundraiser. We were hoping to have a 2nd Annual See Gracie Run, Poker Run this fall, but I'm not sure we'll be able to make that happen this year.   So, starting today, I will be holding a month long fundraiser under both my Scentsy and Mary Kay websites.  100% of these funds will go directly to Gracie's medical account.   As always if you want to donate directly to Gracie's account, you can go to any Bank of America, and donate under account #457020662424, (Heather Peterson).  You  can also donate via the PayPal button on this page. Please know that 100% of everything that has and will ever be donated goes directly to Gracie's care, the cost for transportation, lodging and food.  (Even though we have been blessed to have been awarded coverage for most of her flights to Baltimore, we are still charged a transaction fee every flight, per person.  It's significantly lower then the cost of a ticket, but it all adds up).

www.peterson3907.scentsy.us    (You can ship directly to yourself)

www.marykay.com/hpeterson3907   (You can ship directly to yourself)

I know that I have said many times before how much we appreciate all of your love, prayers, support, and donations.  It has an even deeper connection for us now that we have moved.  I didn't realize how much I would miss our community and our support, how out of touch with everything I would feel.  I know you are all still with us, but it has felt like we are all alone at times, so thank you really does not even come close to how grateful we are for you all! 

Please keep our family in your prayers as we continue to transition into our new "home," for Gracie's upcoming surgery, and provision for our family's needs.  This has been a time of needing and learning to have great measures of trust in God.  We have never been so far away from family, so financially strained, and had so much stress in our lives and marriage as we've had this year.  It has been hard, and that's an understatement.  But we keep pushing on, diving in, and TRUSTING God.  Because despite it all, we do know, and believe, that ANYTHING is possible with Him! 

If you have something I can be agreeing with you in prayer for, please reply to this post, email, text, or Facebook me.....I have loved hearing your prayer requests and being a part of seeking God's will in your lives!

God Bless!

Saying goodbye was so hard to do!



Wiped out from the move

This is what Gracie does when I say its time to change her dipaer, or go to sleep, or anything she doesn't "want" to do.  She thinks I can't see her.

Talking to her shadow!  LOL.  She is getting such the personality.

Landry's first day of Pre-School, 2013. 

Ready for football to start!

Loving my time alone at home with my baby girl.  So very blessed.

An amazing park we found for the kids.  Has a rock climbing area, playground, water park, and oversized musical toys.

Fun at the water park!

Baby girl is getting so big!

 

"I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." (Isaiah 46:4)

On Monday we headed to Gracie's cardiologists office to get both her and my son their heart check-ups.  First I would like to shout our praise reports!!!  Our son Landry was born with Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) and a heart murmur.  Basically he had 3 holes in his heart that failed to close.  He is almost 5, and has been monitored yearly to see if the holes will close.  (I would like to add that we were very blessed with his condition because sometimes it can require medicine or surgery...Landry has needed neither.  Other then the monitoring, its been like he's had nothing wrong at all).  Monday we learned that the last hole has finally closed!!!!  Yes, no more monitoring, no more VSD, and his murmur is so light you can only hear it at rest!!!  Since it seems like every post has been a downer, I want to really take a moment and enjoy this huge answer to lots of prayer we've been receiving over 4+ years.  It doesn't really change anything for Landry, because he was not on any restrictions, but it sure is nice to know its closed and we don't have to bring him back anymore!

Gracie had 2 holes in her heart that should have closed after birth and didn't.  One was a PFO, and the other a PDA.  We found out Monday that the PFO hole has closed, which is great....but the PDA has not.  At 2 years old the treatment for this is closure of the hole.  Our amazing cardiologist was going to give Gracie a little longer and see if it would close on its own (although he was doubtful), until he found out about Gracie's problems with her infections during the external fixator, and that she has more surgery in the near future.  Any infection that gets into Gracie's blood stream has the potential for infecting her heart because this hole serves as a portal.  After hearing that Gracie had staph, and 63 days of antibiotics and pain meds, he went back and looked at her echo again to double check for signs of infection in her heart.  Thank God there are none.  It did however change his opinion on the timeline for closure, and he has recommended that we close it immediately....like before we move.  It is a simple procedure where they go in thru her groin, and as I understand it, is fairly similar to a stint placement.  She will have to be put under again, which is always hard for me, but it shouldn't be too bad for her, and recovery is quick.  The biggest positive of this, is that once this is closed, we don't have to worry about her heart anymore either!

So, I got the call from Phoenix Children's Hospital today, Gracie will undergo the catheter surgery on August 2nd, at 7:30am.  They are not sure if they will keep us overnight or not, but told me to come with an overnight bag just in case. If they keep us overnight it will most likely be because of her age to observe/monitor her.  Gracie also has another surgery planned for October.  We will be going back to Baltimore again to have the 8 plate put into her knee to correct it from growing in.  (Valgus knee).  This was not what anyone expected....but it will be nice to have these things done, and then truly have some surgery free time for a while.  I'm REALLY looking forward to that.

We are going to start packing up this week, and getting ready for our move.  I can't believe how fast the time is going.  Its been very challenging to go thru everything we've faced this year, but I really do feel like God has carried us thru.  And when we needed just a little more, I feel like our family, our friends, our church family and complete strangers have helped carry us too.  We are so grateful for you all!  Even with our support system, I couldn't imagine surviving this year without God.  Today's verse gives me hope and makes me smile.  We all need to be rescued sometimes, and God is the most perfect rescuer. 

Please be praying for Gracie's surgeries to go smoothly and with as little pain as possible, and for her recovery to be the same.  Also for our finances and future fundraising ideas, along with our move.  We appreciate your prayers so much, and pray for all you.

God Bless!

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." (Psalms 51:10)

Last Sunday we flew back to Baltimore to have Gracie's cast removed.  Monday was such an exciting day because we literally hadn't seen our baby girls leg with NOTHING attached to it since early March.  I was a little concerned at how she would do with the cast saw, (we'd seen some kids serious freak out over it)...but she did great.  She was very intrigued by the whole thing, and just sat there and let the tech remove her cast.  When they started pulling it apart, and she saw her leg, she giggled.  Seriously, she giggled.  I guess I never really thought she'd care one way or the other about seeing her leg...but she was excited too!  AND...we can now put shoes on BOTH of her feet.  This may not seem like a big deal, but we are beside ourselves with excitement over it!!  She hasn't been able to wear shoes without a brace on her right foot because her heel and ankle were such a mess.  This surgery corrected those problems, and shoes will now stay on!  (Different sizes for each foot, but they stay on)!!!

Dr. Standard says her leg looks great, and that her ankle is very strong.  We have to watch out and make sure it doesn't start turning outward again, but with the advancements they've made in these procedures over the years they are seeing a lot less of that, and it shouldn't be a problem.  She is not on any restrictions, and we left with her trying to walk down the hall.  We have a script for a small lift in her shoe and PT.  Right now the difference in her leg is 1".  There was just under .5 cm gained by straightening the tibia.  Had she not had 2 growth spurts during this process it might have been more, but she's growing like crazy.  One thing that we did notice, (I noticed even before the x-rays were taken) was that her knee is starting to turn in.  It's called a valgus knee, and its very common with her condition.  At our initial consultation, the doctor had informed us that knees are usually very loose with these kids (I think because they are missing so many joints, ligaments, muscles in their lower leg).  We were told at some point it may become a problem, and is a relatively simple fix.  We weren't expecting it to be this soon, and we were pretty disappointed to hear anything other then we're done for now....but it looks like she will need another surgery within a year.  Its called an 8 plate surgery.  Basically a plate will be inserted into her knee to keep it from growing in, and push it to grow out, or the way a normal knee grows.  It will be removed at a later point.

I'm glad that we have the doctors we have because honestly, even after hearing that we are looking at another surgery soon, I feel so confident in their work, their judgement, and I still end up feeling like we've made so much progress.  That being said, it was pretty disappointing to hear she'd need another surgery so soon.  One thing I need to realize in this journey, is that we may not ever be completely done.  There will be times when she will be able to rest from procedures and surgeries, but even as an adult, she COULD be looking at knee, ligament, hip, and other surgeries that come along with her condition and with years of work and wear on her leg/foot.  I know we made the right choice, but lately, I've really been struggling with the fear that she won't agree.  I hope, with all my heart that when she is older, she thanks us for choosing this path.  Not that it will be easy, or would be whether we lengthened or amputated, but that she would feel, deep in her soul, for herself, that we made the right choice, and it was worth it.

Today's verse is especially significant for me right now.  Our family continues to struggle with all the changes going on, and I'm starting to get a little irritated with God.  I know I can't stay in this place, but I do feel like I need my heart cleansed and spirit renewed.  Thankfully, God knows my heart, and He can do both!  We have missed the last 3 or 4 Sundays at church due to Gracie's trips and looking for housing in Idaho.  Tomorrow is our first day back and I am so excited.  To say I "need" to lay it all out in worship and prayer is an understatement.  I can't wait to worship God, despite my irritation, and be renewed and refreshed. 

Monday Gracie has an appointment with her pediatric cardiologist.  Please be praying that the hole in her heart has healed.  If it hasn't, we will be planning a surgery to close it.  Its a relatively minor procedure (not open heart, they go in thru the leg), but it scares me.  A lot.  Also, we would love prayer for our finances.  Its getting really challenging, and at least one, if not two surgeries more this year added on are impossible for us right now.  By the grace of God, and generosity of so many, Gracie's medical account has managed to last us thru all of our travel up until this point.  Right now, its depleted and we aren't sure how we are going to make these last 2 surgeries work.  Even with our flights covered (which is a huge blessing), we still have to pay for housing, vehicle rental, food, necessities, etc for each of these trips to Baltimore.  Surprisingly it adds up fast. 

We appreciate your prayers, thoughts, encouraging notes and texts so much.  Thank you for hanging in there with us during this journey.  It's going to be a very long road, (a lifetime for Gracie), but having you with us gives us more strength then you can imagine.  Your prayers mean more then we can ever explain.  Again, if we can pray for you, for any reason...please leave it in the comment section. I will update after Gracie's next appointment.

God Bless!

Watching her cast get removed

Trying to pull it off herself

Right after the giggle, came pure shock to see her leg and lift it so easily

She worked hard for these scars, and I couldn't be prouder

So happy to be out of the stroller and fit back in the cart and high chairs

Pretty proud of herself, she climbed up on the coffee table

Had to show off my handsome lil man too...he's getting so big

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is in the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

It's been too long since I've updated everyone on how Gracie and our family are doing.  Normally I have so much I want to say, and the challenge is finding the time to sit down and type it all out.  Lately, I've been avoiding it.  Mostly because we have just been going thru so much, and this is a place where I am raw and honest.  I do it in hopes that someone going thru a journey similar to ours can find strength in both the good times, and the bad...because its a form of therapy, and because I've learned that this is an opportunity to show people who may not have a relationship with God, how He is the most important part of our lives, and our journey.  But, sometimes its hard to be so honest, because I have to feel everything I type out...and that is what I have been trying to avoid.

First, I want to say that Gracie is doing GREAT!!!!  We were back in Baltimore in June to have her fixator removed, (we are hoping that was her last surgery for a while).  She did great, and was literally walking out of the hospital on her cast.  LOL...in fact, she has worn a hole in the bottom of it.   We head back to Baltimore, again this month to have the cast removed.  At that point, we are looking at therapy, but are done with the procedures for this first round of treatment.  Gracie will have a 6 month follow up, and that is when we will find out if she will have her first lengthening at age 3-5, or 7-9.  I'm not really sure that I'm looking forward to that news, because I don't even want to think about it yet....but since I'm a planner, you know I will want to have a heads up!

Since my last post, the "hurricane" I felt like I was in, got stronger.  I was kind of hoping it would settle and we'd get some normalcy back, but God had different plans. Right now, I no longer feel like I'm in the eye of the hurricane, at peace....I feel like I'm being tossed around, losing everything, just waiting for the final drop.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still finding many blessings in this part of our storm too, its just a bit rougher of a ride.  My husband was offered and as a family we accepted, a job in Caldwell, Idaho as the head boys varsity basketball coach and US History teacher.  When we talked about him applying for a job in Boise Idaho area, I thought it would never happen.  After all, its hard enough to get a job in your own state right now, let alone be chosen over local applicants.  God, had a different plan, and we move in August.  I am so excited for my husband.  Being a head coach has been his dream since he was 4 years old.  I know he will be amazing, and I just couldn't be more proud.  I also know, we will love Boise.  At the same time, my heart is breaking.  I've lived in Arizona my entire life, and my whole family is there.  My mother is about 4 miles from us, and we are so close.  Leaving our church hurts just as much as leaving my mom.  Most of the time I am ok with it because I know this is what God has laid out for us, and I truly believe with all my heart that there will be blessings on the other side of being obedient, even when it hurts...but, the closer it gets to moving, the harder the thought becomes.  On a more positive note...my dad has undergone a couple surgeries on his eye, and with all glory going to God, has not completely lost his sight.  He does not have full vision restored yet, but we are believing in God for it to come.  He is continuing to recover well, and really just amazes me.  You look at him, and there's no way you would think he was shot in the face 2 months ago. 

With everything that has happened this year, I'm really just trying to stay focused on God.  It has gotten harder to do over the last couple weeks, and since Him and I have a "real" relationship, He has gotten some attitude from me.  LOL.  Even though I'm mad that we can't get into a house right away, I see the blessing He gave us in an apartment right across from Landry's new school.  And even though I am already missing the home I love, I see the blessing in having our house sell in a week so that we were not having to carry two payments.  Even though I'm sick and tired of getting on a plane, leaving my son and going to Baltimore...we are at the end of phase 1 and I'm grateful.  Even though I'm scared to see what my baby girls leg will look like when there's nothing attached to it, but its small and scarred...I'm blessed its still her leg, and that we can finally put shoes on both feet!

I'm still looking for the blessings in our storms...but I'm tired.  I feel like the part of this scripture, where I am in a drought.  Not with God, but with life.  I hope that I have dove deep enough with God that even when the heat comes, I am able to remain green and still bear fruit.  Please be praying for our family as we make another trip to Baltimore for the removal of Gracie's cast and x-rays to see all the work that was done on her leg and ankle.  We would also appreciate prayers for a smooth transition to Boise, Idaho.  For the perfect home to reveal itself to us, and that I wouldn't feel like I was losing out by not having the home we have now.  For an abundance of provision to pour out over us.  We are hurting financially on top of everything else, and I trust God for His provision, but its hard.  We don't know what His plans are, our where it will come from...but we do believe we are on the path He has laid out for us, and we are giving it all to Him.  If there is ever anything I can be praying with you for...please leave prayer requests in the comment section.  I read every comment and my family and I would love to return the blessing of calling out to God in agreement for His will in your life as well. 

"But slowly, I'm learning God can bring good out of feeling exposed and afraid.  That vulnerable place reminds us we have needs beyond what we can manage by ourselves.  It reminds us we need God.  Desperately.  Completely."  "Our faith doesn't just need to grow big, it needs to grow deep.  Yes, we need deep faith roots."  "Deep roots anchor us when surprises blow like strong, unruly winds.  Deep roots hold us steady during the storm that didn't show up on the radar.  Deep roots find nourishment when the surface gets awfully dry.  Deep roots yield rich fruit."  "So, I'm learning to not be so afraid of what might be around the next corner.  Even if it does catch me off guard.  I close my eyes and whisper...deeper still."  (Lysa TerKeurst, Proverbs 31 Ministries).

Gracie, ready to head to Baltimore and get this thing off her!

5 minutes after coming out of anesthesia, smiling and saying cheese with the worlds best pediatric orthopedist, Dr. Standard.  She adores him!

One day later, walking on her cast, and hugging her "Maggie Bear," who also came out of her surgery with a matching cast.



Enjoying some time with Grandma (Great-Grandma) Maggie on the 4th.

We've been thru a lot together this year, but I wouldn't want to do life with anyone else.  I LOVE this man!

And the kids adore him too! :-)