"No chance at all," Jesus said, "if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it." (Luke 18:27)

****WARNING, some pictures are graphic****

Two years ago today Gracie had her first surgery.  She had the Super-Ankle procedure done.  It was her first time in an external fixator, the first time we handed our baby over to be cut open, the first of many scars, and the first time not being able to make it better for her.  It was also the second time we watched her learn to crawl, and the second time we watched her learn to walk.  It was when we learned as parents to really put our trust in God, and when we learned what God made our little girl of.  Gumption and Grace.

Since then, Gracie has had a total of 7 surgeries, with numbers 8, and possibly 9 to come this year.  She is incredible.  She is feisty.  She is a warrior.  She is everything God knew she would NEED to be.

Gracie has amazed us with her determination and resilience.  It's truly an honor to be her mother.  Today, she is sore from some current complications, (bursitis), but this is not typical for her.  Typical is making us chase her down for things, running and tackling with her brother, climbing anything she thinks she can, and amazing us all!

This journey is long, hard, heartbreaking, challenging, and stretching.  When there are complications, it is devastating; but when she's accomplished something she shouldn't be able to do, or couldn't do before...it is worth it!  It is so, so worth it!  Thank you for sharing in these last two years with us.  For your prayers, good thoughts, encouragement, and love.

With God, ALL things are possible!
The Peterson's

right before surgery

nothing beats daddy's arms

first time standing post op, took over a week

Learning to walk

That ugly fixator looks beautiful when it matches! :-)

First time seeing brother in almost 3 weeks after her first surgery.

"We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield." (Psalms 33:20)

In November, Gracie had a plate placed in her tibia to help straighten her leg as she grows.  Although this was unplanned, it was not unexpected because I could see it was needed without any x-rays. Gracie has recovered from that surgery very nicely.  Thank goodness because this was one of the emotionally hardest surgeries on me.  She was very aggressive after surgery and while healing this time around.  Not her normal self and it took a toll on all of us.  She still has aches and pains when she grows or when its really cold/rainy or snowy out...but all in all, she's doing amazing.  She is running around, climbing and back to her old self!  We are currently in the process of applying for a grant to cover the costs of therapy, and once that is complete (and hopefully approved), she will begin some pretty intense therapy.  This therapy is very important as it will hopefully alleviate the need for a major surgery this summer when they take her plate out.  The goal this summer is to only have the plate removed, and not any other surgical treatment done.  IF therapy does not work, then we will have the plate removed from her tibia, and at the same time, they will do an osteotomy, manually turn her tibia the direction it should be, and screw/plate it back together.  This should help her walk straight instead of turning her foot in.  It is a few days in the hospital, and most likely a week in Baltimore.  This surgery is pretty invasive, so they usually combine it along with the lengthening surgery.  Gracie's length however is holding pretty steady, and it looks like that surgery may be a couple years out.  She will have to have this procedure done either way, but being able to hold off until it can be combined is preferred. We are praying therapy is a huge success and this summer is just a quick trip out for the plate removal. 

It's been pretty crazy at our house lately.  We have been sick on and off for a couple months.  It seems as soon as one gets better, another gets sick and round and round we go.  This is NOT the kind of family sharing I like.  I have literally sanitized my house more then once and now just waiting for all of us to build up enough immunity to not get it anymore.  LOL.  Landry is playing basketball, and man is he good!  It is so cool to sit and hear other parents oooh and ahhh over his talent.  Seriously, every Saturday someone is saying he is one to watch out for, that this kid can play.  I'm a very proud mama that's for sure!  You can definitely tell this boy has been in a gym since he was a newborn.  We have signed him up for flag football this spring, and he is so super excited he can hardly wait.  I love watching him play sports.  It reminds me of watching and cheering for my brother when I was younger and it is just so much fun.  We are hoping to get Gracie signed up for something soon.  She really wants to play soccer.  I have been super hesitant because I'm worried about someone kicking her leg and her getting hurt.  The more I think about it though, the more I remember that we did not choose this journey for her to be limited.  We chose it for her to have opportunities to do whatever she wants, and we refuse to put her through all of this and then say no to something that she should be able to do....so I'm going to push myself outside my comfort zone and I think we're going to get her signed up soon.  I'm really trying to get her interested in swimming....that would be perfect for her leg and for future strength/recovery. 

Recently I was asked what Gracie's long term care plan is, and why we keep fundraising.  It got me thinking that many of you may be wondering the same thing.  So I wanted to take a quick moment and give a tentative layout to Gracie's care plan.  This of course will change as she grows and as the unexpected comes up.  

*Gracie will have 1-2 leg lengthening procedures.  To my understanding this is a process that will last approx. 9-12 months (depending on how many inches we are trying to gain, complications, etc).  She will most likely be in an external fixator (similar to super ankle surgery) for one, if not both lengthenings.  This will require either 3 months in Baltimore, or traveling back to Baltimore every 2 weeks for clinic (per lengthening).  It will also require intensive land and water therapy.  At this time, it is estimated that her first lengthening will be in 2-3 years.  Each lengthening includes 2-3 surgeries, more if complications.

*If therapy does not work, Gracie will need the surgery we discussed above now, instead of in combination with the first lengthening.

*There will also be sporadic plates placed in her tibia and/or femur to help direct the growth of her leg in the correct manner.  These will be a necessity throughout her growing years.

Basically, she will have surgeries on and off throughout her growing years.  They won't all be at one time, and we will have space in between them, hopefully more then we've had lately, but the best estimation I can get is that they will be needed.  We do not know how many or exact times on them with exception to this summer.  As an adult Gracie MAY require maintenance surgery depending on how she rehabs and how her body bears the trauma of the surgeries.  So....we will probably always be fundraising to some extent.   :-)  And, we will probably always need your prayers and well wishes too!

Thank you so much for going on this journey with us, for listening to my rants and vents on this blog, and for your support.  Emotionally, spiritually and financially.  There is no way to describe how the support we receive has helped us.  From the Fibular Hemimelia (FH) support group on facebook, to friends, family, churches, strangers and more....you all help us more then you know!  

Prayer Requests:

~Please be praying for a couple FH families.  One has a little girl under 2 years old who is having her first surgery (super ankle) this morning and will be wearing the external fixator Gracie had.  Prayers that surgery/recovery and rehab all go smoothly would be appreciated.  Also for mom and dad.  This little girl is a twin and has a brother who will need them as well.  It's such a stressful time and comes with a roller coaster of emotions.  Prayers for strength, peace, and supernatural energy for them is also appreciated.  The other FH family has a son (about Gracie's age) recovering from his first lengthening surgery.  As I understand it, the lengthening is going great, but physical therapy has been a challenge and this little man is needing some prayer in that area.  Prayers that he would cooperate at therapy, that he would not be scared or in pain, and would be able to communicate this to his parents when he is.  Also, prayers for these parents.  It is so easy to place blame on yourself as you go thru this.  Blame that they aren't rehabbing well, blame that they are hurting, that there's an infection, etc....  Combine that with a lack of sleep and stress and its such a challenge to come out the other end feeling like you can do anything right.  These amazing parents are in the middle of this process and need these prayers.

~Prayers that God would guide our family in some desires we have laid before Him.  Prayers that Gracie would continue to heal well, and that therapy would be helpful.  Prayers that we are approved for the grant to help with the costs of her therapy.  Prayers for health over our entire family/home!

When things get overwhelming in life, it is good to know God is with us.  It is so comforting to know we are not alone.  We are blessed to have our faith and relationship with God.  I know that not everyone has the same faith, and I appreciate that I can share my beliefs here, along with Gracie's journey, knowing that those who believe pray, and those who don't, still read, still care.  They think of us, and wish us well.  We truly appreciate it all!  

For us, being able to place our hope in the Lord has carried us in ways we can not even begin to explain.  It is my sincere prayer for you that you find a relationship with God.  That you come even closer to Him then you may already be, and that you know, with your whole heart that He is your helper.  That He is your shield.  God Bless!

Home for Christmas!  Kids loved time with Grandma and Grandpa.

While we were back in AZ, Gracie had a follow up on her heart.  (Surgery in July 2013).  We got the all clear for checkups every 2 years now!!  She's doing great!

This girl loves her Uncles.  This is Uncle Drew!

Landry enjoying some of the advantages that come with a tall Uncle!

A little scared, but finally got up there herself!

Gracie finally transitioned to her big girl bed!!!  It's a work in progress but she's doing better then I expected!

Coach and his mini me.  Love this pic of my two boys!

Perfect shot of his age's 3 pointer!  LOVE watching him play!

Gracie's latest x-rays.  Difference is probably about an inch, hips are off, but the plate is doing its job.  As soon as that leg is straight we will remove the plate.  (Until the next growth spurt sends it growing out again)! :-)

"Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him." (1 Chronicles 16:11)

Last Sunday Gracie and I traveled to Baltimore to meet with Dr. Standard.  This was a scheduled post surgical follow up from her tendon transfer/plate removal surgery in June.  Gracie, as usual, did great on the plane.  We had a total of 3 flights, leaving the house at 5am, and not getting into the Hackerman-Patz House (HP House), until 7:30pm that night.  We were exhuasted to say the least.  I was trying to figure out what to do for dinner when I got a phone call from a friend in the area.  She was kind enough to drop off food for Gracie and I, and we were able to eat a fresh meal as soon as we got there.  It might seem like a small thing, but we had airport/airplane food all day, and we were wiped out.  To not have to drive for take-out, be able to relax and settle in, and enjoy some good food was a HUGE blessing.  Not to mention it saved us a bit on our strict budget.

Last Monday was Gracie's appointment.  She was so excited to see Dr. Standard.  When his PA came in, she again, said, "No, I want Dr. Standard."  The PA laughed and said he would be in.  Then distracted her very well and looked Gracie's leg over.  As soon as Dr. Standard came in, Gracie literally jumped out of her chair and gave him a hug.  This is such a testament to the kind of man, and doctor he is.  With rare exceptions, Gracie only gets to see him when he is getting ready to do another surgery.  The fact that she doesn't associate pain, but joy with this doctor fills my heart.  I don't think I could handle it if she was terrified of him every time we came in.  Anyway, as soon as he saw her foot and leg he told me she was going to need another 8-plate...sooner then later.  Exactly what I had been thinking, but dissapointing to hear.  I wanted so badly to be wrong.  He also agreed that the screw in her foot (from the tendon transfer), was sitting up too high and could use being shaved down a bit to be more comfortable for her.  He was thinking surgery in January.  For us, that is complicated becuase we move over to the new Obamacare insurance mandate in January.  We will still have private insurance, as we don't qualify for the cost share...but its under the new laws/rules.  This means our visits are limited and our co-pay/deductible go up significantly.  Seeing as how we have already met our deductible and max out of pocket this year, I asked if there was any way to do the surgery while we were there.  (We do not have the resources to travel back out there again, rent another car, pay for more food, the HP House, etc....).  He said he was completely booked the next day, and then remembered a note on his desk.  Left to check it, and when he came back said there had just been a cancelation that morning, and he could squeeze her in.  I was so happy and so heart broken at the same time.  I can't describe the guilt I felt instantly for asking if we could do her surgery.  I was telling him thank you, and saying, "I bet you are wondering what kind of mom asks for her child to have surgery."  I explained the insurance issue thru tears.  He was so wonderful to comfort me.  He literally had at least 4 other patients to go see and he stopped to remind me that insurance will always be a part of her treatment plan.  That its a necessary evil, and that I wasn't asking for anything he didn't already say we needed to do.  I told you he was amazing right!?!?!?!?!

Gracie and I left to prepare for the next days surgery, and his office went to work getting approval from our insurance.  As hard as it all was, God's hand was definitly there.  From the last minute cancelation, to approval from insurance, to Miracle Flights changing our flight home, to our stay at the HP House being covered, and to extension of the rental car.  We didn't have money for extra food, lodging and transportation, yet it all worked out.  I also want to thank a couple of annonymous donors who deposited money into Gracie's medical fund.  You blessed us more than you realize.  It allowed me to get her a small pre-surgery treat (something we try to do every time), and covered the rental car and food.  Gracie and I enjoyed a nice lunch and then I took her to the Disney Store Outlet (her first time in that store) for her treat.  She was in heaven.  Lots of ooohs and ahhhs.  She finally settled on a stuffed Bullseye from Toy Story.  Another blessing from God, it was 50% off and only $10.  Its pretty rare to find something decently sized for $10 at the Disney Store.  It was a total score, and Bullseye accompanied her into surgery the next day.

Pre-op went well, Gracie and I are kinda becoming pre-op camps.  We have a system down and it was fun.  The PA remembered that Gracie loved Frozen, and pulled up Let It Go on her iphone as we were wheeling into the OR.  By the time I laid her on the bed and put the mask, (her microphone) over her face, she and all the OR nurses/techs were singing Let It Go together.  It was just the sweetest thing.  I hate leaving her in there, but couldn't ask for a better team to be in there with her.  Surgery was about 3 hours, and went well.  The plate went in the upper part of her tibia (at or below the bottom part of her knee).  Dr. Standard decided once he got in there to drill the screw in her foot down a little more instead of shaving it down, just for more stability for the tendon.  Gracie was hurting in recovery but they gave her some meds and that seemed to help.  The biggest difference this time around has been how she reacted to the anesthesia and/or pain medication.  She has been beyond challenging.  I have had to physically restrain her from hitting, biting, scratching, kicking and head butting me.  I have been called a jerk and poopy face more then I care to say.  It has been hard.  It's not my baby girl, I know that....but wow!  I am going to have to remain flexible to keep up with how these procedures change as she gets older and feels/understands things differently.

We are now a little over a week post surgery and Gracie is doing good.  We are still having melt downs, but they are slowly getting to be less and less.  This morning was her first day back at work with me.  We were there for 2 hours, (go back later this afternoon), and she was wiped and sore when we got home.  It'll take some time but she'll get back to normal soon.  Unfortunately we will probably have another surgery shortly after that.  :(

Please be praying for us.  This is the first surgery that I have had to manage recovery and work, and its stressful and complicated.  My boss/job is amazing, so they aren't making it stressful, its just hard to miss and hard to go when she's not exactly at 100%.  Also be praying for Gracie's recovery.  As soon as she is able we have a script for some intensive PT to help with her in-toeing, (the way her foot turns in and trips her).  Dr. Standard said this is something that gets fixed during the first lengthening (cause by her bone being twisted the wrong direction), because its a pretty invasive sugrery.  He likes to package them as much as possible.  However, since her length is looking so good (YAY), her lengthening could be put off to possibly 3-4 years, instead of 1-2.  Neither of us believe leaving her foot as it is for this long is a good idea.  We discussed doing that surgery while we were there as well, but he would like to try PT first, and so would I.  IF we can get PT to work, we can hold off on this surgery.  IF it doesn't, it is likely she will have this surgery when her 8-plate comes out.  (We have xrays every 3 months, but the thought is her plate will most likely need to be removed in late Spring or Summer).  This surgery requires a 2-4 day stay in the hospital, and probably a week+ in Baltimore.  It will consist of another osteotomy (cutting her tibia bone in half), and then manually twisting/turning it into the correct position.  Please pray we can avoid this thru PT.  If you could also be praying for me, I would appreciate it.  The unexpected surgeries are much harder for me to handle emotionally.  Typically I experience all my crazy emotions months to weeks before a surgery, and then I'm ready to go...ready to focus on Gracie.  This surgery, although I wasn't surprised by the need for it, was unexpected.  I was out there alone with Gracie, (while my amazing husband and in-laws held down the home front), and it has taken an emotional toll on me.  I am exhausted, stressed, sad, and everything else.  Its getting better, but I'm struggeling right now.  I wish we didn't have to do any of this.  I tried not to get my hopes up about this break in surgery we were supposed to be having, but I must have because I am devestated that we are at least looking at 1, if not 2-3 surgeries next year alone.  Emotionally and financially I don't know how we are going to do this.  But we have to.  And we will.  Lastly, please pray for our new insurance plan.  I went down and spoke to Blue Cross on Monday.  I told the lady there the most important thing I needed to verify was that I got Gracie on a plan which allowed us to travel out of state for her medical care.  We did get her on a plan that is a PPO, and that Dr. Standard uses, however we were told that the big push right now thru the government and Obamacare is to not allow out of state treatment.  Poor thing, I broke down right in her office.  She was patient and just told me to make sure I work very closely with the doctors and the insurance company and push for what I need.  Please pray that this is NEVER a problem for us.  If it ever became an issue, our only real option would be a huge financial miracle where we could afford to pay cash for her care, or move to Maryland.  Neither seems very realistic...so prayers are needed and appreciated.  Especially as we are already looking at multiple surgeries next calendar year. 

Todays verse is so personal for me right now.  I am on a rollercoaster of emotions trying to come down from the last week, and stressing about the next year already.  I know I can't do this without the Lord's strength.  I'm so very grateful for His presence in my life, but I need to keep focused on continually seeking Him.  Only His strength, only His presence will get us thru these trials.  Thank you for being patient with my extra long prayer list today.  Please let me know if I can be praying for you in any way.  Praying for others is one way that really helps me to stay focused on Him, daily, and it would be my honor to pray for you.

I hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving!  We did!!!  Between surgery, weather, and rescheduling the flight to come home on the busiest flying day of the year...we weren't sure we'd make it home to celebrate with family.  It was such a blessing that we were able to get in the night before Thanksgiving!  Definitly something to be thankful for!

A long day at the docs office, followed by the extremely hard choice of which toy to get at the store...wore her out.  She choose Bullseye.

When you are in preop and your baby girl wants a crown.  Playdough and crayons do the trick!

sleeping it off in recovery

had to have bulleye with her

glad to be back at the HP House where she could relax more

We usually stay a day post surgery in Baltimore.  This time however, in order to make it home for Thanksgiving, we had to leave the day after surgery.  she was wiped out and in a lot of pain.  baby girl had to have my hand right on her face like this to fall asleep.

waiting for our plane

she had her own seat, but needed some cuddles.  apparently bullseye did too.  lol.

one of the first times she stood after surgery.  she loved doing the tree with her brother.

pure, innocent joy!

2 hours at work (school) this morning and she is done for

this is what she does immediately after her full fit break downs.  needs cuddles.  i do too, they are hard to handle.

"I will never forget you. I have written your name on the palms of my hands." (Isaiah 49:15-16).

This past week was a whirlwind of emotions. Gracie and I head back to Baltimore Sunday. It's just a follow up appointment,  but she's had some things come up since our last visit that have me a bit concerned it could turn into more. I've been worrying about those things, been worrying about leaving my husband and son, (even though it's a quick trip, its hard to go without them), and been worrying about finances. I don't know why I worry so much, I do believe God has a plan and will provide....but in the middle of it all, it's a constant give it to God-take it back struggle for me. 

Gracie has been turning her foot in ever since we had her cast on. The brace she currently wears points her foot out, but she manages to twist it back in when she gets moving and isn't focusing on walking straight. It's severe enough that most days she trips over her foot. Sometimes landing on her arms/face, but usually right on her knees. It's so hard to watch. She's also been saying her knee and leg hurt lately. Enough that the other day she actually asked for medicine. (Anyone who knows Gracie knows that we have to hold her down to give her medicine. So her taking it willingly is a big sign for us). It's not stopping her, but she is feeling it. I am interested to see x-Rays on Monday and see what's going on with her leg exactly, because I think some of it might just be the cold weather we are getting. I also have a feeling that we are going to need another 8-plate sooner then later. When I start thinking all these things I wonder if I'm that mom who now needs her daughter to have some kind of issue, or procedure to function. I don't feel like that, but I also feel sometimes like I'm looking for something wrong. I think it's more anxiety then anything. We haven't really had much of a surgery break since we started in March  of 2013.  Allowing myself to really believe we have one now, is hard. Plus I know the unexpected hits me way  harder then the planned, so I feel like emotionally I need to plan. To be prepared for the what ifs, etc. 

I've also been struggling with worry about our finances. Gracie's surgery in June depleted the very last of  her medical account. We had to charge the return trip in July to be able to go get her cast off. Then we had a complication with Miracle Flights and all the sudden we didn't know if we would even make it back for this appointment.  It's crazy to sit and try to figure out how you are going to get your baby to a doctor she needs to see. To the doctor who will give her the best chance to walk and run with as much normal function as possible. Thinking you might not  be able to do that anymore is heartbreaking. So-I kinda went into full blown fundraising mode. Fundraising has been challenging since we moved because we don't know many people out here, but this was the kick in the butt I needed to push beyond my shyness and engage people in Gracie's situation. 

I know I shouldn't worry. I know God will take care of us. I know he never forgets us. Sometimes though, it's easier to KNOW then it is to walk out. Sometimes it's easier to worry then it is to trust. Sometimes it's easier to think He forgot about us, then it is to remember He has our names written in the palms of His hands. I'm ashamed that it takes me so long to focus on Him. I embarrassed that as a daughter of Christ-who loves and walks with the one true merciful God-that I spend all this time anywhere but laying these things down at His feet. I am so very grateful though-that as His child I AM FORGIVEN!  That He is patient with me and waits with arms open for me to bring my worries to Him.  That He lets me bring them again each time I take them back, and that He still hears our cries and our prayers in the middle of it all. 

Miracle Flights approved our flight. I found a very good rate on a rental car. My in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving so Landry is not heartbroken at getting left here again, but excited to see his LaLa and Papa.  The school Landry goes to was generous enough to email a copy of our fundraiser flyer to the parents for us. My amazing boss has passed along information on Gracie that lead to a donation, one of my best friends donated, my uncle donated, new See Gracie Run friends donated, and my mom's Origami Owl fundraiser brought in money. Together, these things are literally giving us what we need for the Miracle Flight fee, the HP House, the rental car, the co-pay, and food. Nothing more, but exactly what we need. God's beautiful provision. 

Maybe the way things worked out this trip was just to remind me that God has not forgotten us, or this journey. That our names are written in the palms of His hands. I pray that, if you needed that reminder too, you found it here!  His love is so wonderful. 

Please see our fundraiser tab for all the current and ongoing fundraising we are doing to get prepared for Gracie's first lengthening. Please also be praying for our fundraising progress, and for good news and safe travels on our trip. 

I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving and Christmas. I pray you get to enjoy this season without worry!  Please let us know how we can be praying for you specifically!

*****if you are new to the blog and on Facebook, please join our Facebook group, See Gracie Run. Updates and information are posted there much more frequently!*****

Faith does not make things easy, it makes them possible." (Luke 1:37)

Things have been busy at our house.  There has been lots of meetings with Gracie's team at a local elementary school for speech services, getting ready for the holidays, and of course for her post surgical follow up this month in Baltimore.  I have submitted all the paperwork to Miracle Flights for Children, and am anxiously waiting to hear if we get approved for airline tickets or not.  If we don't, we will be unable to make this appointment.  There was a last minute issue with some paperwork which may cause a problem, along with the fact we are traveling the week of Thanksgiving.  Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Since we are back in the swing of appointments, we are also back in the swing of fundraising.  We FINALLY have some options for t-shirts, sweatshirts and hoodies for sale.  Please remember ALL proceeds from the clothing, origami owl sales, and PayPal donations go directly to Gracie's continued care.  We will most likely be fundraising for a very long time, and actively for the next few years, as Gracie's first lengthening will be happening within 2 years.  This will be a 10-12 month process, will require 3-4 months in Baltimore, or travel back to Baltimore every 2 weeks, and multiple surgeries.  Please know we are so very grateful for all of your help!  CHECK OUT OUR FUNDRAISER TAB for sizes, styles and pricing!!!!

Gracie also turned 3 at the end of October.  I can not believe how big my baby girl is getting.  She amazes me.  I am beyond blessed by her and so proud words can't do it justice.  I made this video montage of her 1st three years, and despite having 6 surgeries, I'm happy to say there are more pics of her laughing, smiling and loving life, then hurting!  SO thankful for my faith.  It has been the ONLY thing that makes this bearable and has gotten us thru!

Enjoy the video!   God Bless!

Video for Gracie

http://flipagram.com/f/L5EQuAMJf3

"You are all together Beautiful; there is no flaw in you." (Song of Sol. 4:7)

It has been far too long since I have updated everyone on Gracie.  I keep meaning to, and then things come up and I get busy.  Then something happens I want to make sure and post, and I get busy again.  Tonight I am finally making the time. 

These last few months have been a whirlwind.  Gracie had surgery in June, cast removal in July, and brace fitting in September.  She picked out the cutest pattern and colors for her brace, and loves it.  She will wear it until she grows out of it, so she'll have it for a while.  She has healed nicely from the 8-plate being removed, and the tendon transfer has done a great job at keeping her foot flat, instead of turning outward.  We have noticed a LOT of her foot turning in now, which is discouraging...but she is still unstoppable.  With her foot turning in, she drags it a lot when she gets moving, and trips herself multiple times a day.  It's hard to watch, but honestly, most of the time she gets right back up and keeps going.  Every once in a while its a hard fall, and we've had some scrapes and bruises.  We head back to Baltimore for her surgical follow-up the week of Thanksgiving.  This is something we hope to address with Dr. Standard at that time.  As of right now, the game plan is to have some free time for the next year or two, and then fix this issue at the same time of her first lengthening.  As long as the way she is walking isn't going to do any long term damage, then I'm fine waiting.  Its super hard to watch her fall ALL the time...but I'm fine waiting.  I like the idea of surgery free years!

These last couple months have brought huge changes and major answers to prayers and blessing for our family.  We had asked everyone to be praying that our older minivan would sell, that if it was God's will, I would get a PT job, and that we would be able to get a newer minivan when we traded our CRV in at lease end.  IT ALL HAPPENED!!!!!  Plus we qualified for some financial aid for her last surgery at the hospital!  I am now working at Landry's school, in the before and after school care program.  I even get to bring Gracie with me, so she doesn't have to go to daycare.  It is such a huge answer for us.  Financially it does not make everything better, BUT...my amazing husband has been carrying the financial burden for our family alone for the last 2 years, and this gives him a breath and allows some of that weight to come off him...which really, is HUGE for us.  I am so grateful for these last couple months.  Its felt amazing to be in a time of blessing instead of a time of trial!

With this new job has brought some challenges for Gracie and I.  Her foot is much more "public." A group of kids notice it a lot more, ask questions about her brace, and sometimes stare.  It has been hard.  Its good in a sense because she's going to have these issues forever, and now I'm getting a chance to teach her to handle them with confidence, and not embarrassment.  God has been so gentle with me, giving me words to say, allowing me to take a moment, and think before responding...and reminding me that Gracie will react the way I do, so I need to respond how I want her to.  Most of the kids really watch out for her, and have taken a protective role.  A couple have laughed and made a big deal out of her foot.  These kids are young, and the older kids there just tell them its no big deal.  I am honest with what is going on with her, at the level of age I'm talking to.  Usually their questions are innocent and just out of curiosity.  The one time there was any malice to it, I kinda think the kid just didn't know how to respond.  Either way, there have been talks about peoples' differences, and how to respect them.  It has taught me, and it has taught these kids.  The most heart wrenching instance was when Gracie's brace got caught in a chair as she was trying to stand up.  She fell over and put her head down in her lap.  Usually she just gets right back up and moves on.  This time she was embarrassed.  Red faced and all.  The kids around her were incredible!!!!  Before I could even get to her, they were telling her that it was ok, and trying to help her up.  I got there and she practically jumped into my arms and buried her face in my neck.  I wanted to shield her and cry with her.  It was breaking my heart to see her embarrassed.  But...I sat her down, and told her "everyone falls.  It happens to everyone.  Even mommy falls.  It's ok to fall."  And these incredible kids started saying, "yea, I fall too!"  She got down and went back to playing like it was nothing.  They made her feel normal, and I appreciated that so much. 

I think there has been a huge learning curve in Gracie, the kids she encounters at school, and myself.  I am more aware then ever of peoples' differences, and more determined then ever to protect them from being hurt or ashamed of them.  I think this verse just paints a beautiful picture for everyone.  Its hard sometimes to remember that God created you perfectly.  That He loves you no matter what you find embarrassing or others find "different."  But He did.  He made us in HIS image, and He is beautiful and without flaw.  Lets remember this when we see the differences in others.

Prayer Requests:
-We are currently fundraising for Gracie's next trip to Baltimore, (the week of Thanksgiving). Please be praying for the provision for that trip.  We currently have a fundraiser thru Origami Owl going on.  Please check out See Gracie Run Origami Owl Party on facebook, or go to www.seegracierun.origamiowl.com for more information.  As always the PayPal tab is at the top right corner of the blog as well.  If you are unable to donate, or don't feel led to, we would still LOVE your prayers, good thoughts and well wishes!  Those mean so much to us. 

-Gracie's leg turning in is very hard to deal with emotionally for me.  I am struggling watching her fall and bust her lip or scrape her knee because of something wrong with her bones, not because of typical toddler activity.  Prayers that we can find a non-surgical way to alleviate some of the turning when we go to Baltimore, and that our only answer is not just "that's the way its going to be."  I struggle with fear of putting her through all of this and not having a very good functioning leg.  I know it won't be a perfect match to her left leg, or what is typical for kids who do not have FH.  I think I have to fight that assumption in my mind constantly.  It's easy to think with all these surgeries that we are giving her perfection.  It's easy to expect that.  But that is not our reality.  We are trying to give her the highest quality of living, and keep her leg.  That's the goal.  To have two even, working legs as an adult.  With the least amount of residual work and pain possible.  Please be praying for me as I work thru my expectations.

-A month ago, a lady in line at the Starbucks near us paid for our drinks.  She told the barrista that they had been blessed in provision for their son Elliot's upcoming surgery, and wanted to bless us.  She did ask the barrista to pray for her, as the surgery was out of state and they were leaving that day.  I'm not 100% sure on Elliot's condition, but I believe it is some type of leukemia or cancer.  I haven't heard an update on him, and probably won't as we think he will be having treatment for a few months before he returns home.  I was deeply touched by this, because I know personally how hard it can be to be a blessing for others in the midst of trials of your own.  Please be praying for this boy Elliot, and for his family.  Please be praying for complete healing and for God's strength thru this time.  I will update more as I hear it, but he has been heavy on our hearts, and I have such an amazing group of prayer warriors here....I want you all praying too!

I have more to update on, but will try and do another post in a week or two, and add it in there.  I hope you enjoy these pictures!  Landry just had his 6th birthday, (his party was lego themed), and Gracie will be turning 3 on the 29th.  They are growing so fast!!!!  I will try and be more diligent in updating sooner!  As always, please let me know if I can be praying for you!

God Bless!